Like a Bad Penny

At the age of sixteen, I underwent a psychotherapy procedure (EMDR) to discover and address the origin of repressed trauma. The result of this experiment was a rat's nest of truths and fiction with no reliable narrator.

Like a Bad Penny is an ongoing study of the parallels between trauma, self-perception, and relationships. The term "like a bad penny" references an old proverb that describes the recurrence of an unwanted person or event.

I am interested in the dysfunction within my family that is the foundation of my identity. I cling to the idea that we become more like our parents as we age—whether we are better or worse versions or carbon copies. Despite my resistance to the idea of a pre-determined fate, I have an attraction to people who possess the attributes I wish to hide or avoid. I see trauma as an energy that cannot be created or destroyed—it can be inherited, transferred, and shared. Damage existed before me - I inherited some from my family and acquired more. Ghosts of the past that haunt us into adulthood are the binding glue in my relationships with others. The individuals portrayed are relatives and assumed family, recurring figures in my memories. Some of us are considered dangerous or misunderstood despite attempted reconciliation. These feelings of inadequacy dissipate in the presence of trusted company.

My experience in recording the intimate lives of others has personally reinforced the value of forgiveness and healing. As time passes and these conversations continue, it is a shared memory of trauma that—like a bad penny, always turn up.

Three young men sitting on an orange Kubota utility vehicle outdoors in a grassy area with green trees in the background.
person sitting in tub
Close-up profile of a young person resting chin on hands
person with stomach tattoo
A shirtless young man with tattoos on his arm and chest holding two bullets near his eyes outdoors with green trees in the background.
person with dog in backyard with snow
Back view of a person with blonde hair and a back tattoo
Close-up black and white photo of a person hiding face
Person with hand on head revealing cochlear implant
Close-up of a black dog with large sharp teeth
pregnant person reclined on bed
Dog with a collar sniffing a white bag outdoors with colorful flowers in the background.
Three people standing in doorway with one person holding two dogs
young person on chair in sunroom with cigarette
A torn piece of paper with handwritten text, illuminated by an orange light, reading 'I will die here in the portal I will die when I am dead'.
A person standing on a street corner near a large tree in a park, with train cars on tracks in the background, and tire marks in the pavement.
Close-up of vibrant green and purple plant leaves under pink grow lights.
A crumpled piece of aluminum foil with a shiny surface
A person wearing a hoodie and cap is writing or drawing on a tall signpost in a rural area, viewed from inside a vehicle with a side mirror visible in the foreground.
A person dressed in a raincoat with the hood up, covering their face
Person holding a clear glass bottle against a blue sky
A young person lying on green grass with small purple flowers
A young man wearing a gray t-shirt and a black cap backwards, holding a black firearm, standing outdoors in a wooded area with green foliage and trees.
A person with sunglasses smoking a cigarette and holding guns, sitting on a car. A person with glasses is in the foreground, looking down at something.
A person with long hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing a white t-shirt, dark shorts, and dark socks, stands on grass in an outdoor area aiming a pistol with both hands. Large trees with dense foliage are in the background. The image is in black and white.
Close-up view of wire fencing
A person wearing a hooded jacket and jeans in a field, holding a handgun while aiming at something in the distance, with leafless trees and a hilly landscape in the background.
A person with short brown hair wearing a red jacket and black pants standing outdoors among green trees and plants, facing away from the camera.
Three people lying on a hammock outdoors near a creek
Back view of a person with a tattoo on the neck. The person has a shaved head and is wearing a dark shirt, outdoors during sunset with a bridge over water in the background.
A man with short brown hair and a slight beard, wearing a black T-shirt, standing outdoors during twilight with purple and pink hues in the sky and silhouetted trees in the background.
Close-up of a person outdoors with short red hair, visible freckles, wearing a black shirt, and a blurred background of green and yellow foliage.
Person’s hands with colorful tattoos
A young man with short light brown hair and a light mustache holding a baby deer, or fawn, outdoors with greenery and trees in the background.
Close-up of a farm animal
Burned animal carcass on leaf-covered ground with grass and dried leaves.
Close-up of an elderly woman with visible bruising on her face.
Two young men outdoors in a wooded area, one seated in a chair with a baseball tee shirt and the other standing behind him wearing a graphic t-shirt and patterned pants, with logs and smoke in the background.
A person wearing glasses stands in a dark room with minimal lighting
A close-up of a small snake with an open mouth
A shirtless man with tattoos standing outdoors during twilight, with power lines and trees in the background.
A blue plastic container with handwritten note that reads 'Extremely Valuable'.
A black dog wearing a studded collar sitting on a small stool in a grassy backyard surrounded by trees and a wooden fence.
A person with tattoos on their hand, wearing checkered pants, sneakers, and a plaid shirt, is holding a large black dog on their lap while sitting on a wooden deck with a view of trees and a cloudy sky in the background.